Still in my new home on Wordpress. Just stumbling over for a quick visit. Hullo.

*********************

A forgotten favorite that just popped into my head...

Vertical Horizon
Best I ever had (Grey Sky Morning)

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

[Chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

[Chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

[Chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had

***********************************

"A man who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."
- John Stuart Mill

Lyrics from "New Math" by Bo Burnham, a 17 year old boy whose gift for clever lyrics reminds me of a combination of oceandoot and Rick Katschke for some reason.

 And no, I do not mean to imply by omission that that "reason" is pedophilia (see below). In conclusion, watch the video. Or don't. But it's kinda funny. So you should.

Um... How 'bout we just get back to the part where I provide a copy of some of the lyrics...

"Havin' sex is like quadratic expansion
if it cant be split then its time to stop,
and havin' sex is like doing fractions,
its improper for the larger one to be on top,
and havin' sex is like math homework,
i do it best when i'm alone in my bed.
and squarin' numbers are just like women,
if they're under thirteen just do them in your head...."

Ahh... Good times.

Rehearsal for "Wait Until Dark" is going well. I'm off book for my first scene... basically... and pretty comfortable with my lines for most of the rest of the show. It'll be good to finally get that book out of my hands so I can put more of my focus on maneuvering through the set. I'd like to try running the show blondfolded a few times so I can... Did I just write "blondfolded"??

*sigh*

Yes. Yes that's what I want to be. Blondfolded.

Yours truly,

Porphyria's Lover

Goodnight everybody! You've been wonderful! (Exit, pursued by a bear)

ETA: WAIT!! I almost forgot about the two pictures I wanted to post! Egad! DISASTER WAS NEARLY UPON US!

The first is a screen shot of an ad that appeared in my Yahoo account yesterday.

I believe the implication is that the rockin' hot awesome left ass cheek/thigh area is somehow not as rockin' hot and awesome as the ass cheek/thigh area on the right.

Are any of my straight male or lesbian readers understanding this better than I am?

And do you even see the "dimples" they're referring to? It looks like maybe she brushed quickly against an end table in need of a bit of dusting, but is that-- is that cellulite?

If this stuff will make my legs look like EITHER of the legs in this picture, I will pay so much money for it RIGHT NOW.

I-- I'm still kinda scratchin' my head on this one, folks. I'll get back to you if I figure out what they're getting at here.

The next picture is just something I thought was kinda funny.

I was looking up a last name on Facebook when i found two guys in a row with the same exact name (and it's an unusual-ish last name), both from the UK, and both facing the same direction and drinking a beer in their user pics.

"You are not special.

You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake.

You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else."

Tyler Durden

Okay. Now I'm ready to go.

I'm listening to Pandora and this song came on that sounded really... pretty?... so I looked up the lyrics.

I'm saying this as a disclaimer so you don't read the lyrics and think you need to call me every few minutes in the middle of the night to make sure I'm still around.

The End
by The Autumns

Lord, stay my hand
before I sin again
I'm not sad
I'm just through with it
Glad I'm through with it
Yeah

Lord, understand
It's not the same as then
light my path
Guide me to the end
Swear you will forget me

Lord, bells we bring
for chariots to swing
wring the life from leaves
blood smeared down the trees
please

Each Coming Night
Iron & Wine

Will you say when I'm gone away:
"My lover came to me and we'd lay
In rooms unfamiliar but until now"

Will you say to them when I'm gone away:
"I loved your son for his sturdy arms
We both learned to cradle then live without"

Will you say when I'm gone away:
"Your father's body was judgement day
We both dove and rose to the riverside"

Will you say to me when I'm gone:
"Your face has faded but lingers on
Because light strikes a deal with each coming night"

"It seems to me that "maybe" pretty much always means "no"."
Jack Johnson

Really slow day at work. I'm cleaning out old files on the computer. Lots of duplicates of templates and things. Boring work 'cause you have to go through every document to make sure it's blank since people don't update file names when creating documents.

*sigh*

Yesterday afternoon I created a new way of... nevermind. It's boring to talk about. The point is: yesterday I changed the way we create all of our new job files. I'm waiting for the fallout. I didn't do it without reviewing it with the office manager first; it's not like I just went in and threw stuff around. But seriously: what we had going just wasn't working. I'm hoping this new way helps. :S

So... boring, repetitive tasks couple with sad songs on Pandora are making this quite a downer of a morning. I'm trying to just look ahead to the time I plan on spending at the gym (provided the 4"-6" of snow we're expecting to fall between 9 am and 6 pm and which has already started coming down doesn't keep me from driving the extra five miles with my warped rotors), the possibility of seeing Mandy this evening, the laundry I can finally do now that I've got four whole dollars worth of quarters(!!), and the fact that, apparently, it's a pay day. That's what I'm overhearing, any way. Shouldn't it be Monday the 31st? Whatever. I'll take it.


Just heard I can go home at 2 pm. Good thing, too. The roads out here are terrible and my drive home is so dark. Even without the snow it's not a great night time drive. :P

Something in the office smells... onion-y?

Sometimes I worry that if I post lyrics dealing with relationships in a negative capacity that people might ever possibly have even the teeeeniest suspicion that I'm referencing James in any way merely because he's the most recent person I've dated.

It's an icky feeling because James was and is awesome. So if there are ever negative lyrics in here about relationships or men or anything: they have nothing to do with him. I just-- that really worries me that people might ever think anything ill of him just because I might post lyrics that don't portray an ex in the best light. And I don't even necessarily agree with everything I might post! They may just be beautiful lyrics!

Anyway, anyway... Just putting that out there. Lest ye doubt...

That said: a relationship based song that's negative in some capacity!! And I'm dedicating it to pureinpink because-- and only because!!-- she also likes Dar Williams.

As Cool As I Am
~ D. Williams

Yea, there was a time I didn't like the love, I liked the climbers,
I was no sister then, I was running out of time and one liners,
And I was afraid, like you are when you're too young to know the time, and
So I watched the way you take your fear and hoard the horizon,
You point, you have a word for every woman you can lay your eyes on,
Like you own them just because you bought the time,
And you turn to me, you say you hope I'm not threatened,

Oh -- I'm not that petty, as cool as I am, I thought you'd know this already,
I will not be afraid of women, I will not be afraid of women.

So now were at a club, you watch the woman dancing, she is drunk,
She is smiling and shes falling in a slow, descending funk,
And the whole bar is loud and proud and everybody's trying, yeah.
You play the artist, saying, "Is it how she moves, or how she looks?"
I say, its loneliness suspended to our own like grappling hooks,
And as long as shes got noise, shes fine.
But I could teach her how I learned to dance when the musics ended,

You tried to make me doubt, to make me guess, tried to make me feel like a little less,
Oh, I liked you when your soul was bared, I thought you knew how to be scared,
And now its amazing what you did to make me stay,
But truth is just like time, it catches up and it just keeps going,

And so I'm leaving, you can find out how much better things can get,
And if it helps, Id say I feel a little worse than I did when we met,
So when you find someone else, you can try again, it might work next time,
You look out of the kitchen window and you shake your head and say low,
"If I could believe that stuff, Id say that woman has a halo,"
And I look out and say, "Yeah, shes really blond,"
And then I go outside to join the others, I am the others,

Oh -- and thats not easy, I don't know what you saw, I want somebody who sees me,
I will not be afraid of women, I will not be afraid of women.

Can't embed the video I'd hoped to include, unfortunately. Feature's been disabled. But it's the best version I've seen of it on YouTube so it's the one I'm linking to. I know I've posted this one before, it's just such a lovely version of this song and every time it comes on my Pandora I want to put it on repeat and share it again and again with everyone.

Hallelujah (J. Buckley)

i heard there was a secret chord
that david played and it pleased the lord
but you don't really care for music, do you
well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
the minor fall and the major lift
the baffled king composing hallelujah

hallelujah...

well your faith was strong but you needed proof
you saw her bathing on the roof
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
she tied you to her kitchen chair
she broke your throne and she cut your hair
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah

hallelujah...

baby i've been here before
i've seen this room and i've walked this floor
i used to live alone before i knew you
i've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show that to me do you
but remember when i moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah

well, maybe there's a god above
but all i've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

Naked As We Came
~Iron and Wine

She says "wake up, it's no use pretending"
I'll keep stealing, breathing her.
Birds are leaving over autumn's ending
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes 'round the yard

She says "If I leave before you, darling
Don't you waste me in the ground"
I lay smiling like our sleeping children
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes round the yard

Mostly for James: 10 Most Bizarre Videos
Mostly for James: Top 10 Most Bizarre Videos

I was going to just post a link to the following bit, but it's really funny so it'd be a shame if you didn't click and read it. But at the same time it's not *that* funny, so I'd feel bad if you clicked it and didn't like it and were like 'Man, what's up with that girl making me click these links that aren't even any good?' See? This is hard. It's hard.

My Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard

Original:
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
and they're like, "It's better than yours"
Damn right, it's better than yours
I could teach you, but I'd have to charge

Old English:
Mine milkshake bringeth all yon gentlefolk to mine yard
and lo they reply " 'Tis better than thine...
"Verily, 'tis better than thine!"
I could apprentice thee, but I wouldst levy a fee

Literal:
My whipped iced dairy drink brings the attentions of many males to my place of residence and/or employment,
and they declare that its quality far surpasses that of yours.
Absolutely, it far surpasses yours.
I could convey to you the proverbial recipe, but I would have to demand compensation.

Limerick:
Through stereophonic tubes
Comes a girl rapping mixes and grooves
and though you would think
Her topic was iced drink
It's really all about her boobs

Haiku:
Boys, drawn to my yard
Their words in chorus singing
Your milkshake loses

I'm currently watching the extras on the Season One dvd of "The Office." Oh man-- too freakin' funny. I'm watching the first episode with actor commentary and it's awesome. Man, I'd love to work on something like this. Oh weird-- Pam's fiance Roy played the thug guy in Big Fish. Weird.

Hey James-- they just mentioned something about how they screened the pilot episode at a bowling alley. Could it have been the place we went for that party you took me to?

Top 10 Bizarre Mental Disorders
10 Methods of Death
Top 10 Gruesome Methods of Execution

"The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one."
Joan Baez

"We do what we must, and call it by the best names."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Appear to be in the Office While Actually Working From Home

Tip #5: "Pretend to work on conceptional stuff."

Jenny and Caitlin,

If my mom isn't up for shopping tonight, you guys up for coffee/margarita(s) after work? Although... she's a fun girl. Maybe we can still meet for coffee and she can come with us and commiserate.

Love,

BEHNnie

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Sometimes I just don't understand myself.

Lately every time I've heard this song it's inspired me. Literally. I hear it and get all "Yeah! Rarr! Me! I can!" *sighs* Who knows, man...



Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten

...Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten...

**********************************

Socoldsocoldsocold.... *shivers*

Colo. School Bans Tag On Its Playground

An elementary school has banned tag on its playground after some children complained they were harassed or chased against their will.

"It causes a lot of conflict on the playground," said Cindy Fesgen, assistant principal of the Discovery Canyon Campus school. Running games are still allowed as long as students don't chase each other, she said.

Fesgen said two parents complained to her about the ban but most parents and children didn't object.

In 2005, two elementary schools in the nearby Falcon School District did away with tag and similar games in favor of alternatives with less physical contact. School officials said the move encouraged more students to play games and helped reduce playground squabbles.

I was always told that one of the pro's to sending kids to school outside the home was that they had the opportunity to learn to deal with others, to learn to work with different approaches to conflict resolution, to learn to play nice in varying circumstances. So how in the world are they supposed to learn these things if we pad everything?

I'm not saying the education system should encourage disputes, but how does sterilizing everything have any sort of good effect? I mean-- you raise someone in a sterile environment germ-wise and one little cold virus hits 'em and they're in a world of discomfort 'cause their body isn't used to handling these kinds of things. Why would we make the assumption that social sterilization doesn't have a similar negative effect?

Chinese victims of forced abortions fight back

Yang Zhongchen, a small-town businessman, wined and dined three government officials for permission to become a father.

But the Peking duck and liquor weren't enough. One night, a couple of weeks before her date for giving birth, Yang's wife was dragged from her bed in a north China town and taken to a clinic, where, she says, her baby was killed by injection while still inside her.

"Several people held me down, they ripped my clothes aside and the doctor pushed a large syringe into my stomach," says Jin Yani, a shy, petite woman with a long ponytail. "It was very painful. ... It was all very rough."

:(

It's not that I think the music of today has nothing to say to today's youth about love, respect, meaningful relationships.

It's just that I think that what most of the music of today has to say to today's youth about anything in general is disgusting and counter-productive garbage.

You Are My Sunshine
Sung by Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan




Versus...

Rock Yo Hips
by Crime Mob



And please bear with me on these next lyrics as I just copied and pasted them from the first website I found that featured them. All the crazy capitalization and spelling-- bit hard to follow... (Best parts bolded by yours truly...)

Bought a bottle of a "Happy" knockoff the other day on a whim as I checked out my Yoohoo, hair clips, and Fruity Pebbles. Best purchase of the month. I keep catching the scent and I love it. I usually just spritz on some fruity body spray from Bath & Body or some such, but with this new perfume people keep noticing it and complimenting me on it. Isn't that weird??

Man do I smell good! If I can just get up the nerve I just may ask myself out on a date for tonight. *crosses fingers* Here's hoping I say "yes" and wear that yummy new perfume...

Current Music: The Weepies - Say I Am You - World Spins Madly On

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Current Music: Sufjan Stevens - Seven Swans - To Be Alone With You

I'd swim across lake Michigan
I'd sell my shoes
I'd give my body to be back again
In the rest of the room

You gave your body to the lonely
They took your clothes
You gave up a wife and a family
You gave your goals
To be alone with you

To be alone with me you went up on the tree
I'll never know the man who loved me

It would no doubt serve me well to start listening to slightly less depressing, melodramatic music at work. Can't help it, though. This is the good stuff.

"Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable."
John Kenneth Galbraith

I *heart* Pandora.

Current Music: Dinah Washington - Sings Bessie Smith - Send Me to the 'lectric Chair

Judge you wanna hear my plea
Before you open up your court
But I don't want no sympathy
'Cause I done cut my good man's throat

Judge, judge, please mister judge,
Send me to the 'lectric chair
Judge, judge, good mister judge,
Let me go away from here

I wanna take a journey
To the devil down below
I done killed my man
I wanna reap just what I sow

So I think something in the chemical makeup of my nylons is degrading because I just went to fix my shirt from where it was tucking in to part of my skirt and felt this dust on my skin. I looked and there's this fine, reddish brown powder all the way around my waist under the top elastic portion of my new nylons. Jigga-what?

Steve brought in five tall, iced something- or-others with whipped cream on top from Starbucks for the folks who were in the office this morning. I haven't had Starbucks in ages-- boy did that hit the spot. Aaaaand: We're taking on two new guys today and one tomorrow, and we took on 6 on Monday and we've got two or three new  women starting on Monday. Woohoo! We're huge!! =D

Current Music: Memphis Slim - The Folkway Years 1959-1973 - Just a Dream

Had lunch with the whole family plus Mimi yesterday. Great to have her and Bekah back. We went to Louise's and boy do I love me some organic baby spinach and gorgonzola cheese salad. Mm-mm-mm. I may be going home for dinner tonight with the girls since dad (and David??) are up at the Wisconsin Rapids office today and tomorrow. Mimi's headed back down to Chicago with mom and Bekah on Sunday.

I love my family, and I'm blessed to have 'em and I know it. Gotta remember that...

I've also gotta get a haircut. I look like an abandoned llahsa apso.

I'm about an hour and a half through the second disc of Angels in America. Emma Thompson is both weird and wonderful in it, and Al Pacino deserves every accolade he got for his performance. He's evil and creepy and scary and gross. Meryl Streep is creepy too, but in that "Mormon mom" way because, well, she's a creepy Mormon mom. Not that all Mormon's or all mom's are creepy. She's just-- nevermind.

******************

I also *heart* FoxNews.com...

Arkansas Couple Has 17th Child, Still Want More

LITTLE ROCK —  An Arkansas couple had a baby daughter Thursday — their 17th child and seventh girl — and the pair say they're still not ready to give it a rest... Jennifer joins the fast-growing Duggar brood, who live in a 7,000-square-foot home in Tontitown. All the children — whose names start with the letter J — are taught at home. The oldest is 19 and the youngest, before Jennifer, is almost 2 years old.

Jennifer joins siblings: Joshua, 19; John David, 17; Janna, 17; Jill, 16; Jessa, 14; Jinger, 13; Joseph, 12; Josiah, 11; Joy-Anna, 9; Jedidiah, 8; Jeremiah, 8; Jason 7; James 6; Justin, 4; Jackson, 3; Johannah, almost 2...

The Duggars have been featured on several programs on cable television's Discovery Health Network. The next special, the Duggar Family Album, is scheduled to air next month, Jim Bob Duggar said. Among the "fun facts" listed on Discovery Health's Web page devoted to the Duggars: A baby has been born in every month except June; the Duggars have gone through an estimated 90,000 diapers, and Michelle has been pregnant for 126 months — or 10.5 years — of her life.

Hollywood Minister Guilty of Dealing Pot in Church

LOS ANGELES —  A minister with mail order credentials was found guilty Thursday of distributing marijuana through his Hollywood church.

The Rev. Craig X Rubin, 41, the leader of the 420 Temple who has appeared in episodes of the Showtime comedy "Weeds," faces up to four years, eight months in prison for possessing marijuana for sale, said Jane Robison, a district attorney's spokeswoman.

Rubin and some 400 members of his church believe marijuana is a religious sacrament and burn and smoke pot during services. He said he won't appeal his conviction.

Man Pulls 12-Year-Old's Head From Cougar's Jaws

CLINTON, British Columbia —  Mark Patterson kicked, choked and wrestled a cougar to rescue a 12-year-old boy from the jaws of the big cat at a resort camp in south-central British Columbia.

Patterson's quick action was credited with saving Colton Reeb who was on a camping trip near Clinton, northwest of Kamloops, when he was attacked by the mountain lion on Wednesday. The cougar pounced on Reeb while he was walking to a bathroom close to the Kelly Lake Vacation Lodge. Patterson, who owns the lodge, jumped in to rescue the 12-year-old boy, a family friend.

"The cat had Colton's head in its mouth ... blood was squirting out everywhere," Patterson said.

Patterson said five soccer kicks to the cat's head were not enough to wrench the boy's head from the animal's mouth. So he put a chokehold on the cougar "and squeezed as hard as I could, and he finally let go." Patterson then wrestled with the 70-pound male cougar, which broke free, fixing him with an evil glare and growl, he said.

"I growled back at him and said, 'I'm ready to go."'

The cougar finally slinked away as Patterson's wife stood nearby armed with a meat cleaver...

Falling asleep at work and I'm supposed to be going to see Footloose tonight at Sunset. :P Maybe I've got an Entertainment Book coupon and I can see it later in the run. Ooh, but Jenny will be there tonight and I sure do like her. Um... hm...

"Dallas-based retailer to accept pesos"

Bridget's friend Katharine's doing pretty well, eh? Good on ya, K.

This article on the newly amplified religious voice of the three major Democratic presidential nominees makes me wonder if there's an actual *shift* coming into the way the Democratic party presents itself. I mean- say whatever you like about what's really there on any side of the political spectrum, or what should be there, or shouldn't, or what's misrepresented as being or not being there when it really isn't or is. Irrelevant to this. Is there going to be some big change? That's all I want to know. 'Cause if so, man- can you just imagine the social and cultural implications of that kind of new direction? Of another party fighting for moral authority the way the Republican party does, with results that are often so sickening you can barely... ugh. Maybe it will level things out in the minds of the voters if this aspect is approached in a more similar fashion by both sides and voting will be based more on what it *should* be based on, or maybe this will just create an even bigger mess of the American political system. Lord knows it's already a joke and a mess enough as it is...

I've had juuuust about enough of hearing this song on the radio, but I do so like the words...

Young Folks
by Peter, Bjorn and John

if i told you things i did before
told you how i used to be
would you go along with someone like me
if you knew my story word for word
handled all of my history
would you go along with someone like me

i did before and had my share
it didn't lead nowhere
i would go along with someone like you
it doesn't matter what you did
who you were hanging with
we could stick around and see this night through

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about our own folks
talkin' 'bout our own stuff
all we care about is talking
talking only me and you

usually when things has gone this far
people tend to disappear
no one would surprise me unless you do

i can tell there's something goin' on
hours seem to disappear
everyone is leaving i'm still with you

Home from work, checking emails and faxes. Most likely my last day doing this. Nice coming here to the peace and quiet. I'll miss it even more when the phones are in and begin to ring...

I need some peace and quiet. I'm taking a personal day in August, September and October. How nice...

It's a warm, sad, Clem Snide kind of day. I only wish I could listen at work. But then I wouldn't be working. I'd be-- still.

Close the Door

Close the door
But open yourself to me
Take off your coat
Leave it there on the floor

I caught you
Doubting yourself in the mirror
But you look good to me

Close the door
Don't let the cold air in
I don't mind
To wait til your hands get warm

'Cause you could be
Coming down with something
So I'll come down with you

Close the door
Then sneeze as loud as you want
God bless you
He made the dust in this room

I'll Be Your Mirror

...When you think the night has seen your mind
That inside you're twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands
'Cause I see you

I find it hard to believe you don't know
The beauty you are
But if you don't let me be your eyes
A hand to your darkness, so you won't be afraid

Find Love

... Don't be scared to connect the dots
And dig for gold in the parking lot
Find love, and then give it all away

Good album. Good boys. All nice, good boys.

Both Hands
by Ani Difranco

I am walking out in the rain
and I am listening to the low moan
of the dial tone again
and I am getting nowhere with you
and I can't let it go
and I can't get through...
the old woman behind the pink curtains
and the closed door
on the first floor
*she's listening through the air shaft
to see how long our swan song can last
and both hands
now use both hands
oh, no don't close your eyes
I am writing graffitti on your body
I am drawing the story of
how hard we tried
I am watching your chest rise and fall
like the tides of my life, and the rest of it all
and your bones have been my bedframe
and your flesh has been my pillow
I am waiting for sleep
to offer up the deep
with both hands
in each other's shadows we grew less and less tall
and eventually our theories couldn't explain it all
and I'm recording our history now on the bedroom wall
and when we leave the landlord will come
and paint over it all
and I am walking
out in the rain
and I am listening to the low moan of the dial tone again
and I am getting nowhere with you
and I can't let it go
and I can't get though
So now use both hands
please use both hands
oh, no don't close your eyes
I am writing graffitti on your body
I am drawing the story of how hard we tried
hard we tried
how hard we tried

**************

*In my dream last night a woman shouted at me through an air shaft. She pressed her face up against the grate and started yelling at me and whoever I was with. And she was... she was above us? Yeah. She was. She was yelling down at us through an air shaft in the ceiling...

Hallelujah
Jeff Buckley



i heard there was a secret chord
that david played and it pleased the lord
but you don't really care for music, do you
well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
the minor fall and the major lift
the baffled king composing hallelujah

hallelujah...

well your faith was strong but you needed proof
you saw her bathing on the roof
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
she tied you to her kitchen chair
she broke your throne and she cut your hair
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah

hallelujah...

baby i've been here before
i've seen this room and i've walked this floor
i used to live alone before i knew you
i've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show that to me do you
but remember when i moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah

well, maybe there's a god above
but all i've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

***************************

So the story goes:

He had her husband killed to hide his shame. To hide hers. To have her to himself. To fool everyone. And she let him do it. But everyone found out. And their child died.

He kept on loving God. But is this any surprise? So the story goes: God made him king.

The surprise I see is: he kept on loving her...

It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.

Hallelujah.

A video for swadhyaya :

"Whoever You Are" by Geggy Tah



all i wanna do is to thank you
even though i dont know who you are
you let me change lanes
while i was driving in my car
All i wanna do is to thank you
even though i dont know who you are
you let me change lanes
while i was driving in my car

all i wanna do is to exit
so i go to where i can get off
on a curve through a shoulder
there's not parking in that trough
so i drive around all day
combing atmospheric haze
till i wanna get on again
then all i have to say is

who ever you are
i wanna thank you
who ever you are
i wanna thank you
who ever you are
i wanna thank you
who ever you are

all i wanna do is to tune in
radio L.A. Luah
cause were broadcasting live
and we wanna hear all of ya
on the mic is geggy tah but a whole lot more of all ya
let us hear ya let us hear ya
in a big echoing holl

It's so cold in the office I have to put my coat on to use the bathroom.

Did you see you can now select a theme for your Google homepage?? I've selected "Cityscape." So far I'm pleased...

*******************

He said what he liked about my voice for this reading is that it "has a nice Judy Garland quality to it" that "fits the time period and the piece perfectly."

Nobody's ever said something *nice* about my stage voice before.

It's been "character." It's been rough. It's been nasal, loud, brash, grating, gravelly, too low, too high...

But it's never had a "nice" anything good quality to it.

If I weren't so hungry and distracted I'd probably cry.

*********************

I love love love her. She's talented and beautiful and has great eyes and picks good parts and I love love love her.



*********************

He's pop pop pop. He dated Cameron Diaz and sang in a boy band and keeps things in boxes and he's pop pop pop.



*********************

Every time American can deliver my mattress and box spring I can't be home for it! I'll have ordered it almost a month ago by the time it arrives. They're bringing it out next Wednesday between 4 and 8. Next. Wednesday. Meaning I have to stop home after rehearsal to pick up the keys I'll have left with my parents so one of them can be here for it since I'll have rehearsal at 6:30. *grimaces* I just want to stop sleeping on the floor. :(

*********************

A friend recently introduced me to The Weepies.

And now I'm introducing you to The Weepies. That is... I'm introducing those of you who don't know them... I guess.

Gotta Have You: Gray, quiet and tired and mean/ Picking at a worried seam/ I try to make you mad at me over the phone./ Red eyes and fire and signs/ I'm taken by a nursery rhyme/ I want to make a ray of sunshine and never leave home

I've been rocking out to Ben Folds Live constantly when I've been in my car the past week or so. James: thank you. Again. Best gift cd. Ever. Every song of his I love that was written up to that point is on that album and so so so much better live than pre-recorded. I still skip past "The Luckiest" a lot on account of how sad it makes me sometimes, but I could sing along to "Army" and "Not the Same" and "Fred Jones Part 2" all day.

ben folds - the last polka

well, she crept back in the house at half past 3,
shook her head to see him snoring in his sleep.
"if you really loved me," she said,
"I wouldn't have to be so mean."
he's a heap of junk that pours from his top drawer.
he sometimes likes to spread it out around the floor.
it's evidence of what he was like.
he likes to remember when.

the end is growing near
and we're treading water now
and holding back our tears
and the day is rising,
we're sinking.

in a minute it will all be coming down
and they know it now,
but no one makes a sound.
such a shame to ruin this bright
lazy, sunny day.

my oh my,
the cruelest lies are often told without a word.
my oh my,
the kindest truths are often spoken, never heard.

she said,
"you've been pushing me like I was a sore tooth."
"you can't respect me 'cause I've done so much for you."
he said,
"well I hate that it's come to this, but baby I was doing fine."
"how do you think that I survived the other 25 before you?"

Ben Folds was totally my Dave Matthews in college. I admit it.

I've been spending a lot of time with Eef and the boys lately as well. (For the record: I'm sending any children I may have to Pete Fitzpatrick to learn to play the guitar.) My mom came over for a few hours on Saturday to help me assemble chairs and during our time together we listened to all of "You Were a Diamond," "Your Favorite Music," "Soft Spot" and "Ghost of Fashion," plus two and a half live sets. It made me smile when she'd laugh at a lyric or comment on some weird musical bit. It was just-- it was nice to see she was actually *listening* because we're just-- man! We're just so different when it comes to our interests in music and movies and all that, and I like it when our likes and dislikes overlap, even if it's just a little, just for a while. She's one of my best friends. *sniffles* Good ol' mom.

The time before that when she came over she started reading America: A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction (birthday gift, courtesy of Joel and Jennifer last year) and was literally laughing out loud and reading parts to me that she found funny. Yeah: my mom. I mean, yeah she wasn't terribly thrilled at the sight of nine naked supreme court justices, but she *did* appreciate the explanation and accompanying picture of Congress being comprised of two chambers.

Okay okay- to work with me.

****************************

After switching to Coke Zero a few weeks ago I had a whole can of regular Coke with my lunch today. It was good, but man was it sweet! I feel so full now. So full and sugar-mouthed and heavy. I will be both surprised and mystified should my teeth still be lodged firmly in my mouth tomorrow morning. *sighs* It begins... Good bye Coca-Cola Classic :(

****************************

Okay- it's 5:51 pm and we're still getting faxes. Don't these other people ever go home either?

American Idol tonight. Got to head to my folks place and astrally project some well wishin' to my man Chris Sligh.