My sister's freshman orientation was Tuesday. Bekah is officially on board the "I am never attending another freshman orientation, even if it's for my own kids" train. Yay Bek!

(And don't be swayed by that stupid camera icon in the video window if it's still there!! The video's up, it's just... pretending to be down...)


So while Bekah was off touring the campus and doing all that... stuff... my mom and I had some *grand adventures* (read: played Sudoku and napped on a bench in the Union) of our own. Actually- we were able to go out and enjoy a nice, longish walk through the neighborhood, which was fun. Hot, though. Man...

So good for you for attending all of the sessions, my Rose. Sorry your mom and sister had to counter you with a li'l hooky. For whatever it's worth, I have no doubt we were just as bored, if not more so, than you were.

See? Doesn't that just make it all better?!

So did Carroll's "Lend Me A Tenor" suck as much as I am forced to assume it did based on the cast list I just read in the latest "Humanities, Fine Arts, and Social Sciences" newsletter?

Yowch, man.

And who chose that F Train to Dullsville performance picture that accompanied the article? FIRE THEM.

There's almost nothing you could do to get me to see that particular group of people in anything more than five minutes long that didn't involve them working behind the scenes with entirely different people actually up on stage.

Wow. I didn't realize I felt so strongly about their level of suck. Hm.

No but seriously: Double Plus Bad.

Are Carroll shows even reviewed anymore?

Anyone who takes theatre seriously needs to transfer out of that program. Obviously I hate to think of it going away, and I do think wholeheartedly and without any reservations that it can be salvaged, but that will take at LEAST a few years (a few years plus loads of outreach work and bringing in more and better folks), which means that in the meantime students are paying tens of thousands of dollars every year for... for what? Flabbergasting mediocrity? I'm sure it was rough on Tom gettin' the boot (or whatever really happened), but I think he's lucky to be out of there. Whatever was happening wasn't working, and deserved or not he'd've gotten all the blame, and that's no fun.

In conclusion, Carroll Players: Get out get out get out. Try back later. Lights off. Doors locked. Go home.

Or to Whitewater.

I hear they kinda suck too, but I'll be gol'durned if their grads aren't taught which bootays need kissin' back in Milwaukee if they want to keep nice and busy.

So Players: Get ready to pucker up...

My sister's high school graduation ceremony was today. Yay Bekah Rose! Mimi was in town for it so my folks and David and Mimi and I went there this afternoon to watch.

It's only the second high school graduation I've ever attended, the other being my own. I think it's pretty safe to say that after today I will do everything in my power to never attend another high school graduation ceremony unless one of the people receiving a diploma that day was birthed from mine own loins.

It wasn't horrible or anything, it was just really long and really boring. One of the guys gave a fun speech, but the rest were just-- ugh. Lamentable. Who's the speech teacher these days and why haven't they been fired?

A lot of "mortarboards worn on the back of the head" amongst the lady types this afternoon. If there's one thing dippier looking than wearing a graduation cap, it's wearing a graduation cap on the back of your head. Especially with that *receding neck* pose you have to maintain to keep the cap from sliding off in spite of your best efforts to bobby pin it in place. Two girls lost theirs while walking across the stage to receive their diplomas because of this dippierness.

*chuckles* I am so glad I don't have to wear one of those ever again!

The stuff with the fam was fun. That Bekah's a sweet girl. I like her. I took a bunch of video clips throughout the afternoon, but then my battery died around the time the ceremony itself ended so I missed a lot.

One of the things I missed catching-- but it's just as well because had I caught it on tape, even on accident, it would have been creepy and icky and weird and there's no way I would have posted it anyway-- was this girl who came to the ceremony who was wearing shorts that were so tight and so short that in the five feet from her car door to the side walk she had to pull her shorts out of... um... out of her... yeah... four times. Four. Times. In five feet. And of course she was in a brightly colored top and high heels so you just can't help but notice her. She couldn't even walk straight in those things, even after her shoes were off. It was like they'd given her a mad case of thigh-chafe or something.

Oh my gosh. Too funny.

Seriously, dear heart: You have great legs and a tight butt- which won't last as long as you'd like but by golly you've got it now so enjoy it! Dress as sexily as you want, but at least have the sense to do so in clothing that doesn't have the option of being removed via your throat. There were plenty of lovely, Cosmo Girl! examples of alternatives at the ceremony today. I'm sure with a little creativity you'll be able to come up with something.

I'd post the video here, but what ends up happening when I do that is that no one rates them or leaves comments on the video's page on YouTube- they just leave them all here- and that leaves the video's YouTube page looking abandoned and lonely. So to watch the vid, click here.

I'd give you Bekah's YouTube username so you could harass her while you're there, but I'm not sure that she's even on YouTube, so phooey on that plan. My mom's got an account though (but no videos). Isn't that cute?!

Also, I apologize for the chunk from 3:28 to 4:14 where the class treasurer talks about one of the two student gifts. I left it in for my sis (whose speech in DELIGHTFULLY short). So uh, sorry about that part. :P

Aren't you glad we're done with high school? Oh Lordy...

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For thisangelhurts:

See?! You must go. Must. www.Polyvore.com.

Who didn't see this one coming?

Teacher faces sex assault charges

The Columbus (Ohio) Dispatch reports that Jason Crary, who taught and coached soccer at Heritage Christian School here in the late 1990s, has been arrested in Ohio and charged with four Wisconsin felony counts of sexual assault by a school staff member.

Here's the top of the Dispatch story:

"The varsity girls' soccer coach for Worthington Christian High School was in jail last night after felony sexual-assault charges were filed against him in Milwaukee, related to when he taught and coached there in the late 1990s. ... Worthington police led Jason Crary from the high-school office in handcuffs yesterday afternoon, three days after boys' soccer coach Dwayne Smith resigned, also because of past allegations of sexual misconduct. ... Crary, 36, of 61 E. Broadway Ave. in Westerville, is charged in Wisconsin Circuit Court, Milwaukee County, with four felony counts of sexual assault by a school staff member. ...

"Mosic said an arrest warrant says the offenses occurred between September 1997 and March 1998. ... Crary coached boys' and girls' soccer at Heritage Christian High School in Milwaukee in the late 1990s, according to a biography on a soccer-camp pamphlet. He and Smith are listed as directors of the youth camp."

I knew who the girl was-- we all knew. We all knew the whole time. But everybody just laughed about it and said it was probably all just gossip and not true and we let him do it and look at how she's always flirting with him and getting rides from him and acting like it's no big deal and you know she wants him...

And then, years later, our suspicions were confirmed one by one as word got out after her mom found her diary, bit the bullet, and sneaked a peak to quell every mother's worst suspicions. We found out we were right. And we still didn't say anything. For different reasons.

I assumed she was torn up inside about it. She doesn't need everyone to know. I knew that her family knew and that's all you need. You deal with it, you get the help you need- support, family, friends, counseling, whatever- and you keep going because what else can you do? So I kept my mouth shut. We all did.

But I always felt bad I didn't look him up, find out where he was, tell his new school what happened. Because this wasn't dirty jokes, or stolen kisses followed by years of harrowing guilt and forgiveness-- it was an overtly sexual, very long-term relationship with a 16 year old girl who trusted him, who stood up for him, who represented a lot of other young girls who also trusted him, students who admired him as the rebel teacher, the cool Varsity coach. He was the young, hot teacher with the rugged good looks who drove a Jeep and played soccer and got away with whatever he wanted because that's the way it works when you're 26 and no one you're hurting wants to turn you in because they're too thrilled when your attention finally turns to them.

And now, ten years of dishonesty later, his name's in the paper and he's being led away in cuffs. I feel bad for his wife and kids. But I've seen lesser situations handled so much better and I know it doesn't have to be like this. You run towards the issue and deal with it then and there, because if you don't it falls on you like it's falling on him now. You stop, you tackle it then and there. You don't go back to your old high school, put yourself in the same place, and ask your wife to keep mum about it if she even knows.

So shame on him for what he did to her (the girl). For the way he used her all that time all those years ago. Shame on him for taking that innocence from her. For lying to everyone.

And shame on us for letting him do it when we knew. When we all knew.

So bummed.

My 3rd (?) year in college these two girls approached me about doing a reading for this presentation they were doing on the Hispanic population and cultural heritage of Waukesha. The presentation would take place at the local public library where they'd have members of the Hispanic community present songs and poetry and all that.

The part I'd play in the whole thing would be getting up and reading this piece they'd written that was this first person narrative adapted from interviews they'd done with this 75 year old Hispanic woman in Waukesha who moved here when she was very young and blah blah blah. Really interesting story; the kind of woman you'd want to meet and hear all this from in person instead of listening to some blonde white girl tell the story to you...

So anyway, I was at the library the other day and my first stop is always the non-fiction DVD section and I was psyched because there was a DVD on the shelf of the evening's presentation and I wanted to see what it had looked like and to see my friends who attended and all that stuff.

So of course I bring it home and put it in and it plays perfectly until it gets to the part that I did and then it starts skipping like crazy and after about 2 minutes of mostly skipping it stops completely and goes back to the menu page.

*sigh*

Bummer, man...

"No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other."
Jascha Heifetz

Visited Old Dave last night. Good to see him. He looks so much more rested and happy than he did in his final months at Carroll. His mom finally passed away last year. I think I may've already known that; did you tell me that Jenny?

He's taken up smoking again, and boy can that man drag one down. Went through at least a full pack in the 3 hours I was there, there was an empty pack on the table beside him when I arrived, and he retrieved another pack from a drawer a few minutes before I left. Don't know how the man does it. I'd've been dead on the floor by then. Or at least damn near comatose.

He says hi, Jenny.

There was part of me that was a little worried as I walked up to his house unannounced last night. I was worried he'd forgotten me, that perhaps he'd meant so much more to me than I to him that he'd've forgotten my name completely and we'd spend an awkward five minutes chatting in the doorway before I'd pack up my worn out welcome and drive home. The forgotten name I could live with- in school he had a habit of forgetting or changing people's names almost immediately upon meeting them- but the awkward conversation would've been sadder than I could have stood.

Instead he came to the door while on the phone with someone about some historical renovation project, interrupted his conversation to tell the person on the line that "Ruth A-----, one of my former students and a brilliant actress, has just come by so I'll need to wrap this up," and then motioned me to sit at the dining room table with him while he completed his call.

He said he'd been following my reviews since I'd graduated and he called me a talented actress and a good feminist and all sorts of other things that made me just smile because they are such Dave things to say. No one can make you feel good about yourself like Old Dave can. I wish he was in my family.

I forgot how wicked that man's sense of humor can be. I suppose it might escape you for a while if you don't know the same people and so aren't catching the more subtle, good-natured slights, but hearing him talk about my graduating class and the ones shortly before and after it-- that man's a gem and I love him and his honesty.

I've missed his gestures. The two-finger-Pope-point and the side-to-side two-finger-Jedi-wave. They way he moves his right hand like it's holding a piece of chalk. The way he circles explanations away from his body like he's giving a lecture.

I'm stopping by again- don't know when, yet. Perhaps next Monday, but this time I'll call ahead and bring along a torte or a Guatemalen or something.

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Just got an email from "karamellino" of Marakech, Morocco in my StumbleUpon inbox: "I like to know to you is what it is possible"

"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"
Scott Adams

Also, saggy pants are now under legal fire.

And in other news, England's making a laughingstock of clowns. I would imagine we're already doing the same thing here.

"I happen to feel that the degree of a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting attitudes she can bring to bear on the same topic."
Lisa Alther

"He may be mad, but there's method in his madness. There nearly always is method in madness. It's what drives men mad, being methodical."
G. K. Chesterton